How to Apply Intuitive Dating to Clarifying Your Situationship this holiday season

In modern dating, situationships—those undefined, often ambiguous relationships that leave us feeling confused about where we stand–have become as common as a traditional relationship. If you’re wondering if you’re in a situationship, like most people you are probably unsure of what to do and weighing how to move forward or whether to let go.  We’ll go over how to tell if you’re in a situationship and what to do if you are, using our unique approach to dating to help you find clarity and peace.

How Can You Tell if You're in a Situationship?

A situationship is usually marked by its lack of clear definition and commitment. Here are some key signs to help you recognize if you’re in one:

1. No Defined Relationship: If you've been spending time with someone consistently but haven’t had a conversation about what you both want, and there’s no label on the relationship, you might be in a situationship.
2. Inconsistent Communication: Communication in a situationship is often unpredictable. You might go from texting constantly to suddenly having long gaps with little or no communication. The actions or timeliness in responding of the person you are dating may not be as enthusiastic as their words convey.
3. Lack of Future Plans: In a situationship, plans tend to stay in the short term. Conversations about the future are avoided, and there’s hesitation around commitments like trips, meeting family, or discussing long-term goals.
4. Emotional Ambiguity: If you feel confused about where you stand or are constantly wondering how the other person feels about you, this uncertainty can be a sign of a situationship.
5. Casual Energy: While the connection may be fun or even intense at times, it generally lacks the emotional depth or exclusivity of a committed relationship. It may feel more like hanging out than building a future together.

By checking in with your own feelings and assessing the dynamic, you can better determine if you’re in a situationship and decide whether it’s something you want to continue or clarify.

What do I do if I’m in a Situationship?

Trusting your intuition is one of the most powerful tools you have when dealing with a situationship. When you have the tools to tune into your inner voice, you’re able to navigate gray areas in dating with more confidence and grace, and have a better chance of asserting yourself and ensuring that your needs are met. Here’s how you can apply The Intuitive Dating approach to gain clarity in your situationship:

1. Get Clear on Your Desires

The first step in gaining clarity is asking yourself what you truly want. Intuitive dating begins by connecting with your personal intention—free from external pressures or societal expectations—and asking, What kind of relationship do I really want?

Take time to journal or meditate on how you want to feel in a relationship and the kind of relationship that would inspire you. Do you want to feel safe and secure? Passionate? Excited? a committed partnership? Are you looking for something casual? Or is there a fear of asking for more because you’re afraid of losing the connection altogether? If you slow down, you will make space for your intuition to begin to emerge. In doing so, it may expose your fears as it also shows you your desires.

Practical Tip: After doing this journaling exercise, set aside 5 minutes each morning to meditate and reflect on how this situationship makes you feel. Do you feel expansive and aligned with your intentions, or does the lack of clarity leave you feeling unsettled? Your body and emotions will often give you the answer your mind is trying to find.

2. Notice the Energy Exchange

Energy doesn’t lie, however, it may not always be aligned in a way that makes you feel good (something we can get into more later).  In intuitive dating, we focus on the energy flow between you and your partner. Ask yourself, How balanced does this situationship feel energetically?

Are you always the one reaching out? Do you feel drained after interactions, or is there a balanced, fulfilling energy exchange? If the energy feels off—where you’re left confused or unfulfilled—this is a sign from your intuition that something may be out of alignment. A healthy partnership should not feel like the energy it takes to be in it is more than the energy you are giving to it. 

Practical Tip: Make a list of what you feel before and after spending time with this person. I.e. do you feel calm before seeing them and then anxious, uncertain, or overthinking a few hours later when you haven’t heard from them? Or do you feel grounded and seen with them AND happy about the follow up after?  Paying attention to these patterns will help you determine whether this is a relationship worth investing in.

3. Communicate Honestly and Compassionately

One of the hallmarks of healthy relationships is honest communication. It takes time and courage to speak your truth, especially in an undefined and tenuous relationship. It’s important to know that you and your partner deserve to know where you stand. Once you’re clear on your desires and have assessed the energy of the relationship, it’s time to have a transparent conversation. 

When approaching this conversation, come from a place of compassion rather than fear or accusation. Speak from your own experience, using “I” statements that reflect your feelings and needs.

For example: “I’ve been reflecting on our connection, and I realize I’m looking for a committed relationship. I’d love to hear where you’re at and what you’re looking for in this dynamic.”

This kind of honest communication is not only empowering but allows both of you to explore where things stand without the pressure of an ultimatum.

Practical Tip: Role-play the conversation with a trusted friend or coach beforehand to feel more confident. You can even record a voice note and play it back to get a sense of how you feel listening to it. Make sure you’re ready to hear their response—whether they want to move forward, stay where things are, or end things.

4. Trust the Response and Release Control

One of the challenges of a situationship is the fear of uncertainty—of not knowing what the other person feels or wants. After you’ve had the honest conversation, let go of trying to control the outcome. Intuitive dating is about trusting that what is meant for you will never pass you by.

If the person responds with uncertainty or reluctance to move forward, that’s valuable information. It might mean they’re not ready to meet your needs, and that’s okay. You’ve honored your intuition and set yourself up to align with someone who is. In Intuitive Dating, we practice sitting with the discomfort of grief and letting go of control rather than looking for something to numb the feelings. 

Practical Tip: Give yourself permission to step back if the conversation doesn’t result in clarity. Sometimes, space allows you to realign with what you truly want and opens the door for a relationship that serves your highest good. Practice our expansion meditation for sitting with difficult feelings. 

5. Reflect and Realign

After your conversation, take some time to reflect. How do you feel? Does the situation feel clearer, or is there still confusion? Intuitive Dating menas to consistently check in with yourself and realign with your core intentions and desires.

If the situation still feels murky, it may be a sign that it’s time to continue taking space, sitting with your feelings, and complete the process of moving on. Trusting your gut is key here—if your intuition tells you that this isn’t the relationship you’re looking for, honor that feeling and give yourself the grace to move forward….even if you still get that spark of excitement about the idea of that person. 

Practical Tip: Reconnect with or create your own intuitive practices, whether it’s journaling, meditation, or spending time in nature. This will help you recalibrate your energy and gain a deeper understanding of your next steps.

6. Take Empowered Action

The beauty of The Intuitive Dating Approach is that it empowers you to take action from a place of inner alignment. Whether that means setting a boundary, stepping back from the relationship, or committing to moving forward together, you’re now making decisions based on your deepest knowing rather than fear or uncertainty.

At Lovewell, we believe that dating is a journey toward self-discovery, inner alignment, and outer alignment…as much as it is about finding love. Situationships can serve as powerful mirrors and growth accelerators, showing us where we need to grow, what we need to heal, and how we can become more aligned with our desires. Trust yourself, and remember that clarity in love comes from within.

Need more support navigating your dating journey? Our Intuitive Dating Coaching can help you unlock your inner wisdom, gain confidence in your decisions, and find the relationship you deserve. Sign up for 50% off your first two months today!

1. What is a Situationship and How Can You Gain Clarity?

A situationship is an undefined, often ambiguous relationship where both parties are unsure about their status. If you're in a situationship and looking for clarity, start by getting clear on your own intentions and desires. Ask yourself if you're seeking commitment or if the casual nature is enough. Honest communication is key—have a conversation with your partner to understand where they stand and decide if the relationship aligns with your goals.

2. How Do You Set Boundaries in a Situationship?

Setting boundaries in a situationship can feel tricky, but it's essential to protect your emotional well-being. Begin by identifying what you need from the relationship—whether it's more commitment, clear communication, or defined expectations. Once you're clear, express your boundaries calmly and confidently. Let your partner know your non-negotiables and be prepared to step back if those boundaries aren’t respected.

3. How Can You Tell if a Situationship is Worth Pursuing?

To determine if your situationship is worth pursuing, pay attention to how the relationship makes you feel. Do you feel valued and fulfilled, or does it leave you feeling anxious and confused? Assess the energy exchange—if it feels one-sided or unbalanced, it may not be worth continuing. Trust your intuition, and if you’re not receiving what you need, it’s okay to move on to something more aligned with your desires.